thursday night

i blow out the tri-wick candle cupped in the palms of my hands
to say goodnight to myself.
the flames flicker, they dissipate
and the slender smoke fills my face.
and the hot liquid wax
ripples like dancing toes in an arizona swimming pool in the springtime
smells like sweet perfume like champaca bloom like fresh fern like my grandma's beach
bungalow in san clemente.
i hear smashing ocean waves, i see ripples in an arizona swimming pool.
i can taste the salty pacific air, i can see the sonoran sunset like water colors
in the sky.
where am i?
i almost dip my fingers into the hot liquid-soon-to-be-solid substance:
hot wax
bring me back
to reality.
hot wax drip over me.
hot wax
take me back
to arizona swimming pools in the springtime
to sonoran sunsets like water colors in the sky.
where am i?
hot wax
bring me back.

a special christmas rap for michael

i'm mikey
puttin' up lights on an x-mas tree
mon cheri
she's off in laguna beach
the muthafuckin' bougeious O.C.
where illegals climb eighty feet
just to trim the goddam palm trees
for maybe
fiftee each
she's there without me
this x-mas eve
it's all storming
flooding
in the beach cities
how can this be
she's there without me
i miss her like cray-zee
in less than a week
i will get to see
her pretty smiley
oo la la
oo la la


discretionary claim: i use the term "illegals" in a colloquial, satirical sense, not in a direct, political sense

too much reading all at once.

i feel like i could go mad. what is it? the quietness of the middle of the night, the slight buzzing in my ear, the sharp pain in my chest/stomach/and lower back, the empty coldness of my bedroom - no heater, double layers, alone? the long day of reading, reading, reading? reading into the night? the difficult stories i am reading, the heavy theory i am ingesting? what is it? the distance from tucson, arizona and all that i left there? i just have to pause and take a deep breath and tomorrow will come.

time for bed

i hate to say it, but i'd almost rather not skype
almost rather not hear your voice
think of your thoughts
keep track of your sleep schedule
because pretending that you aren't so far away is certainly much easier than realizing you are.

notice of fall 2010 admission

"Congratulations! You have been admitted to the MASTER OF ARTS - WOMEN AND GENDER STUDIES program which is among the most competitive in the California State University system."

happy day.

coffee

coffee against my lips
it's cold by now but i still drink it
and the mug tips,
a little bit
slips
out the side of my mouth as i sip,
eyes looking past the mug onto my feminist lit--
coffee tear drops drip
and stain the polemic.

no energy for hostility right now.

Rachel G**** giving books to prisoners is the most ridiculous cause ive ever seen. why don't we worry about the children that can't afford books before we worry about prisoners who have forfeited their rights. criminals chose their circumstances while did not.

Jordon Br********** im sorry i dont see a point to sending books to a prisoners. why are you so interested in this