may a tragedy r.i.p.

rest in peace connor redd. and i am struck by all of these photos of you on facebook. i go through them and i see you and i am brought instantly to roland barthes' philosophies in camera lucida:

"by giving me the absolute past of the pose (aorist), the photograph tells me death in the future. what pricks me is the discovery of this equivalence. in front of the photograph of my mother as a child, i tell myself: she is going to die: i shudder, like winnicott’s psychotic patient, over a catastrophe which has already occurred. whether or not the subject is already dead, every photograph is this catastrophe."

worn

feeling so
worn,
so worn down.
ragged, dry, heavy.

hello saturday

not too bad of a saturday morning: cardio exercise and stretching at the gym; delicious breakfast of yogurt, granola, scrambled eggs w/ cheese, a fresh homemade fruit smoothie, and coffee from our new french press; i've been trying to hydrate myself all day w/ lots of water; and digging into my studies. obviously right now i am not studying... :) but i need a little internet break every now and again... goals for the evening and rest of today: finish praxis write-up, write memo (which means do the reading), read for independent study, and start Where is Ana Mendieta?

giant envelops versus little envelops

how exciting it is to receive a giant envelop from a grad school program i applied to and not a little one.

even though little envelops can have some okay news, like being wait-listed, for example.

pity the fool.

for tomorrow:
-presentation of roland barthes' camera lucida
-abstract for fem theories' final paper + preliminary bibliography
-reading response for fem knowledge production
-praxis write-up? i don't think i can finish that on time. might have to turn it in next week instead.

for tuesday:
-(another) presentation of the anthology companeras: latina lesbians
-position paper for latina lesbians
-prospectus from latina feminisms + annotated bibliography

for wednesday:
-paper for independent study which translates into=a shitload of reading on top of everything else.

i can't wait til this week is over..

sleep vs. awake

the line between sleep dreams and awake reality is blurring more and more for me these days. when i sleep i am a vivid dreamer. trying to differentiate between what is dreamt and what is lived seems like an obfuscating task. and then i wonder, does it matter? if i recall a memory as though it were a lived reality but was actually a dreamt fantasy, who is gonna be my judge of truthiness?

guilty as charged

i am excited for the new Vans store to open up at park place mall.