Sunday, January 31, 2010


sharp and slight pangs in the heart. too much coffee? no, never too much coffee. but too much reading, too much reading indeed. go easy on me feminism, at least for today, please.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

what does it even mean to be sober

i'm awful. i caved. but i wanted one. maybe i really should make use of the resources recommended to me by the midwife who conducted my annual pap a week and a half ago...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

the land before time

backpacking. stewart island, new zealand. 12/28/09.

Friday, January 22, 2010


brushfire bbq on glenn & campbell = amazing! so delish. how have i not discovered this place sooner?! mikey had a pulled pork sammy and i had baby back ribs. meat falling off the bone slathered in sweet but bold sauce with sides of creamy slaw and grilled garlic bread. super casual, too--you just walk up to the counter and order. exactly what i needed to be re-introduced to food again. my body was craving meat after being ill all week and hardly eating. mmm i do love me some classic southwestern bbq.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

in my head

ruminating. living in reverie, all my waking hours. i think about it now and well, i have always been like this, at least since the accident. when will i ever not be ruminating? dwelling? obsessing? constantly rehashing, replaying, wondering, twisting, revisiting, recreating? it's the writer in me, i keep saying. the writer in me, constantly daydreaming, living in reverie, never settled, always deep in thought--about school, lost friends, ex-lovers, sexualities...the list does not end. it wears and tears and i am starting to wonder if i will ever be able to live differently. what is it like not to ruminate? i don't think i know.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

drunk on life.

here goes it. i am giving up the booze. day #2 of sobriety. i am sure this sounds terrible, but to be perfectly honest, i have been drinking heavily ever since i graduated last may. yes, it's been potentially self-medicating. but it's also fucked up my health emotionally, and physically. always tired, down n' out, eating terribly, not working out, and spending way too much money on it. why is beer my drink of choice? so many calories, and it was only a matter of time til I thought 4 beers would hardly do the trick..