kidnapping

jessica is my life-long best friend who lives in phoenix and has been going to school for nursing, and supporting herself as a server at chili's for three plus years now. to be blunt, this summer she is getting shafted as far as scheduling and shifts go. she is working a double on the fourth of july. and believe me, jess likes to celebrate for whatever the occasion is. so this depresses her a lot, on top of all the other shitty shifts she has been scheduled so far this summer. here is my plan to rescue her:

dear jess,

consider this my pre-meditated warning. i will be sending a magazine-mosiac cut & paste ransom letter to chili's. i will be showing up at the restaurant while you are working. i will be wearing an american flag jumpsuit with an Uncle Sam face mask, and huge white boots with spurs. i will pop one of those confetti poppers in the middle of the restaurant during the lunch rush, then throw my head back and laugh menacingly, all the while flailing my arms for effect. then i will fake-karate chop you in the shoulder and take you out at the knees. i will run out of chili's with you dangling over my shoulder.

you have been warned.

love, brooke